Ok, so I don't exactly know where to start with this since I've never blogged before and most likely no one will see this and by the time I have posted I will have deleted and re-written this blog several times until I feel I have done it right or done what seems right in my head..... or has just happened I have lost the point of my ramblings. Ah-ha I have just remembered and instead of deleting and going back to just before I lost my point I shall continue to ramble in some attempt to make sense.
So my point being that this is something that no one will see probably and if someone does stumble across it, may gain some insight into my head. Hear I will post things that I do not feel fit for places like Facebook (sorry for the name drop) or other websites like that. I know that many of you do not care and I know first hand that the internet is a dark place where troll live just to take the piss out off people that post their inner feelings and such thing online.... I know this because I too am one when I want to be.
So I guess that I am using this as some sort of online diary type thing but without the faggot level of owning a diary and shit like that. Yeah whatever deal with it you fuckhead, your here reading this so you must be interested to some degree so shut the fuck up and read.
Here is a bit about me:
At the time of writing this very first post I am 21 years old and in just short of a month I will be turning 22. Huzzaah and all that BS.
I am just about finishing university, after failing my final year once before. Im studying Multimedia Technologies and it rubbish in a fashion, actually the subject name makes it sound awesome, which is what drew me to it actually, but the lecturers lead me to believe that we would study certain things and then did not follow through so it's been quite abit of a let down and I can't wait to finish.
I am very much a geek at heart, but not one of these fashion geeks, you know the kind, the kingdom hearts faggots and fake glasses wearing type. Exactly, no I'm a decent geek, comic reading, sci-fi loving general geek, got picked on in school then beefed up and picked on everyone my self, hey, it's highschool, its a dog eat dog world.
These days I make out like I don't care and that nothing actually bothers me, but this world is the most fucked up place I know! Now I could sit here and ramble on but I will leave that for shorter, more readable paragraphs..... look further down for more ramblings if I remember what I was going to say.
Ok, back to now and not the past, as well as my studies I have various hobbies, such as:
Free Running & Parkour, I train with a cool bunch of guys. We started getting into youth work and its pretty ok, we're called Team Katalyst, check us out on our website: www.teamkatalyst.co.uk
I am also a Pro Wrestler, I still consider my self a trainee but some may not, I have been training for 3 years on and off and seem to do ok at it, I do my job well and get a decent reaction from the crowd. I know what your thinking yes its all the WWE entertainment stuff, not the Roman Grecko/Olympic style, ahh well deal with it, it hurts and if it hurts, its a sport!
On top of that I am an Explorer Scout leader, well I say leader, I'm actually a unit assistant for the Rotherham District and keep getting pestered to become a full on leader, it's pretty annoying especially since I don't know whether I am enjoying it anymore (make all the pedo jokes you want). That's as far as I shall go on this subject since there has been alot of discussion about what is allowed to be posted online and what is not, which is actually the main reason for me starting this blog so I can say whatever the FUCK I want and swear as much as I want.
So, what next I am starting to ask my self. It's nearly 3am at the time of writing this sentence and I have free running training tomorrow. I usually spend days on end leading up to the training sessions talking about how much I am going to train my ass off and going to push my self to the next level, but the real factor is I either do something the night before or the day before that either injures my self or tires my sefl out so I can't train, but usually the most common factor is that I have spent a year training now and I have only just started to land front flips and just generally don't have the drive to do anything at training.
Which is actually another reason for starting this blog. You see I am a typical Mr Am-a Gunna-do. I start lots of things and then don't have the drive to stick at it, which then causes me to be rubbish at everything I do and then blame me not having time to, not so much commit but practise or whatever. Fuck lost my train of thought... ahh well, next point/issue.
(Yes I am mainly using this as a place to get things out of my head for a few minutes before it pops back in after posting, if I have already said this then deal with it, theres too much going on in my head to remember everything)
So... ok I totally lost my train of thought, I actually had something to say but its gone now, I may remember it in a minute or another post.
What I want to talk about now is my reason for saying "The world we live in is fucked up". Everyone knows this and everyone has the same attitude, apart from all you bloody hippies out there. The attitude being that 'what can one person do' and thus thinking this we all think 'well whats the point trying' and I know because I too have the same mentality. And the saddening fact is, it's true, one person cannot change or do anything in this world, that is any Tom, Dick or Harry, yes I know that in this day and ages that is un-PC and should technically be Tom, Dick and Harriet, but fuck off. Unless said person has a ton of money and or a rich family to support them.
Now most of you won't care and I don't actually want you to care, I'm hoping that by now you have gotten that bored that you have decided I'm not worth reading because you all know what I am saying and have now gone back to your life smoking crack or being sat on facebook clicking refresh every 5minutes.
Ahh I remembered my point from earlier, it was simply that after this post because of my Am-a Gunna-do personality I probably won't post anymore blogs after this or if I do, I won't keep at it for long.
Now here's the (what I would say emo faggot part) where I go on to say that sometimes I not so much wish that I was a different person, but like to think what life would be like if I was someone else like the characters in the comic books I read, or the video games I play, or even the movies that I watch. I then realise that I should be happy to have the life that I have because there are people in this world that would litterally murder to have the life that I have, but then i get back into that mentality of the general public and start to think about number one and what I want and realise all the things I will never have which pisses me off because right from when you are small you are told that you can be anything you want to be and are constantly told to think outside the box and be different. What they forget to tell you is that if you actually want it to come true you have to have ultimate commitment to what you what which means not getting emotionally attached to anyone or anything until you have reached your goal. And then when you do reach that goal you then realise that you have alienated your self from the world.
If you don't do this then you are expected get back in that box, unless your outside the box thinking complies with what everyone else agrees with and thinks is acceptable and that being different is following all the latest trends and pretend you did it first, again this being different is only being different if people think it is acceptable and fitting which then destroys the whole point of being different and thinking outside the box.
Ok I think I out of rambling juice, its now just about 3.30am at the time of writing this sentence... roughly, I have training and have to be up at like 9am ish so that I can show up, get devil eyes from someone for posting something when I was drunk (note to self this will be the next topic, 'drunk online posting & general online postings, acceptable and not) and then proceed to not train apart from doing a few vaults.
Good night and peace out.
Yours un-thankfully
Another Unoriginal Blogger.
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